It's all my fault!
by Allyjewett123
Summary: This is the story of Dawsey set the day after their fight in 3x10. This is my first time so please leave comments on ideas or constructive criticism I would apapreciate it.
1. It's all my fault

**This is set the day after dawsey's fight in 3x10****.**

Gabby's P.O.V

I get to 51 and I was so tired. I hadn't slept because I was crying all night long because I felt so terrible about what happened between me and Matt; he didn't even come home last night. Everything that was wrong with our relationship was because of me. I started to ask myself _'Why does he love me?' 'Doesn't he know he deserves better than what I can give him?' _ _No! No Gabriela Dawson you can't think like that_ _he loves_ _**you**__._ I guess I needed more convincing because the first person I saw was **Matt**. I was hoping he wouldn't see me but, sure enough he glances over and starts walking my way. _Okay Gabriela, can't back_ _out now; it's time to face the fear and pain __again__._

Matt's P.O.V

I'm sitting at the table near the kitchen while everyone is talking; I'm sitting, replaying over everything that had happened last night between me and Gabby. '_God why did I say that?' I didn't want to break up_ _with her I just said the worst thing that came to my mind! Then worse, I didn't go home last night, I slept in my office to avoid her. Then I started asking myself 'Why does she stick around?' I have destroyed everything between us. 'Is it too late to get her back?' she's probably so upset; why did I do this to her when everything thing that's wrong with her is my fault?'_ Just as I look up there she is, she looks so pale and her eyes are all puffy. So… of course I stood up and walked toward her to set things straight '_Time to go in Matthew, she loves you; remember that, she has to forgive you.' _I wish I believed that.


	2. Praying

Matt's P.O.V

"Gabby!" I sort of shouted louder than I wanted. I got her attention though.

"Hey lieutenant….." she said quietly with pure sadness

"Can I talk to you for a minute Gabby I know I don't deserve it but—" she cut me off.

"No, you do not. You spent yesterday yelling at me for not being able to respect _you_; do you know that I had spent last night crying because you didn't come home and all I could think was that you were somewhere wrapped around a tree!" she was crying by this point. "you were right, this is too big for us, I think we need a break. I don't deserve you and I am a terrible person, you have made that perfectly clear _sir_."

Before I could say anything else the bells rang and we ran to the truck to our call.

At the call (Matt's pov still)

"Herrmann, Otis go vent the roof!"

"Dawson, Cruz you're with me! Let's go!"

"We got to be quick; smoke's turning' black people 10 minutes top Casey!" Boden bellowed through the radio.

We get up to the third floor and all there we saw was a big flash. When we came to I looked for my crew and all I saw was Cruz. No Dawson, I started panicking.

"CASEY! It's Dawson she has been trapped by a fallen beam! She needs help!" Cruz barked

"Oh my god, Gabby, baby open your eyes!" I felt a tear crawl down my face "Help me get this off her!"

We got the beam off her and ran back out. The medics took her Lakeshore where I came with them against their wishes but I didn't care either.

"Gabriela Dawson, age 27 years old, severe head trauma internal bleeding, possible broken ribs and collapsed lung. We need her in surgery now!" the nurse spat out.

I was so distraught I could barely breathe. The chief was there in minutes and guided me to the waiting room. There I felt like I sat there for hours. Which I did, then the doctor came out I stood up praying she'd be okay.

"Mr. Casey, she has suffered major injuries and there were some complications… we weren't able to save the baby, there was too much bleeding. She was also put in a medical induced coma, I'm terribly sorry."

Pregnant? I thought, no she couldn't be pregnant, we were so careful. She had to wake up I needed to tell her how sorry I am.

"Can I see her?" I asked

"Of course, she's in room 312 on the 3rd floor" she said rather boldly and forced a smile.

"Thank you" I spat out as I sprinted to her room.

I wasn't prepared to see what I did when I got there my heart shattered and I fell to the floor sobbing and gasping for air.


	3. Grieving

Matt's P.O.V

As soon as I walked in the room there were a thousand nurses surrounding her doing CPR and shocking her. Then my worst fear came true… she flat lined. They didn't call it because they were going to put her on life support. Which was better than calling it but I knew that there was a slim chance of her ever waking up. So I guess it was time to do the thing I have done so many times in my life. _**Grieve**_. God, even thinking of the word made me cringe. I can't believe I lost her. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder; it was Severide. He sat there with me while I cried.

"I-I did-didn't get to say I was sor-sorry" I stammered out between sobs.

"She knows you are, she also knows you love her" Severide said making his best effort to comfort me.

"I just want her to wake up" I said still sobbing

"Hey, don't give up hope yet she could still wake up."

"You're right," I said firmly "she could still wake up; she has to wake up she can't leave me, she wouldn't." I said more confidently and I moved on from that day.

Everyday I visited her and talked to her like she was still alive. I wondered if she could hear me.

_**3weeks later***_

Gabby's P.O.V

_Yes, yes baby I can hear you. I just can't figure out how to live with you mad at me. I'm a burden to you; maybe this is best if I stay like this. _ He starts murmuring something but I can't hear because he's sobbing… I feel terrible he's saying how sorry he is. _I know your sorry, but it isn't your fault it's all mine it has always been mine. I just think your life will be better off without me._

Matt's P.O.V

"I'm so sorry baby, please wake up I need you, I can't live without you sweetheart; you are my everything. We need to get married and have kids; grow old together please baby!" I shout sobbing.

That's when I feel it the tiny squeeze from her hand. "Baby, that's it come on, open those beautiful eyes for me" they start to flutter open and our eyes lock.

"Matt, I'm so sorry, please forgive me, I love you." she says weakly with tears streaming down her face.

I wipe them away and pull her into my embrace and kiss her. The kiss was something different; it was fiery and passionate and like relieving all the tension and feeling that were piled up for so long.

"I'm sorry too, l love you and that fight was worst thing I've ever said to you"

" We still are going to talk about this more, right? She asks anxiously

"Yes, yes we will, there are a lot of things we need to talk about."

"Yea, what's the first thing?"

"That you were pregnant and now the baby dies because of the damage done" I say fighting back tears

"What?! Matt I swear I didn't know plea-please don't leave me I didn't know"

"I know, I would never leave you it's okay, It wasn't your fault" I say lovingly "What's wrong?" as she's not even looking at me anymore. "Hey, look at me, what's wrong?"

"I hate myself, I didn't protect our child and I've been terrible to you and your still here thinking that it was all your fault and it's not, it all mine it always has been. I want to die, I don't deserve you or to live I've messed up everything in my life."

I'm completely shocked at what just came out of her mouth, I wanted to believe she was just grieving, but before I knew it she had the scalpel in her hand very closely to her neck. I definitely knew she wasn't grieving.

***What happens next? Does she harm herself or does Casey grab it just in time?***


	4. Therapy

Gabby's P.O.V

I didn't even realize what I was doing until Matt attacking me; fighting me to pry the scalpel from my hand. I was screaming and crying for him to let me go.

"Let me go! I want to die!" I screamed

"Give me it!" he shouted

Then it went silent as I felt a sharp stinging pain in my cheek. He had slapped me! He got the scalpel out of my hand and threw it across the room.

"I'm so sorry gabby, I felt like I didn't have any other choice baby." He said apologetically while caressing my cheek.

"It's okay," I said very quietly "thank you, I don't know what I was thinking."

"Shhh, just go to sleep you've had a long day get some rest I want to talk to the doctors."

"Alright, goodnight Matt, I love you."

"Love you too, goodnight" he said walking out the door.

Matt's P.O.V

"Hey, Dr. Grey, umm is there any chance you can get Gabby into therapy of any kind, she uhh she's suicidal" I breathed out feeling terrible I told them because she said she didn't know what she was doing.

"She is! Of course, we will get her into therapy as soon as possible. Did she mention what tis triggering these thoughts?"

"_A lot_ of things," I say stressing 'a lot'. "Like our relationship, work, losing the baby, personal insecurities; pretty much everything" I say now really processing how horrible she must be feeling.

"Alright, I want to start on regular therapy and couple therapy as well"

"Okay, yea, as long as she will get better."

***In Gabby's room***

"Hey," Gabby said with heavy fatigue

"Why aren't you sleeping?"

"Couldn't sleep, it hurts too much." She said with a wince. "What did you talk to the doctor about?"

"Uh….."

"Matt what did you talk about?" she said slightly annoyed

"About getting you into therapy…." I said quietly hoping she wouldn't blow up.

"Oh…."

"I'm sorry, Gabby, but you need help" I say hoping she'd understand.

"Can you please leave?"

"Gabby I'm trying to help"

"Ugh, I know, I just—I don't want to go." She said sadly "They get in your head and pull out the darkest moments in your life and make you think of the worse possible things ever and they are sick enough to think that helps people"

"I never thought of it like that, but Gabby I really think it will help you. On the brighter side I'll be with you."

"Couples therapy?"

"Yea,"

"Okay," she said quietly

"What's wrong? Isn't that what you wanted? Was to talk about it?"

"Yea, but they'll probably tell us to take a break and that's not what I want; nor asked for." I was getting exasperated at this point I thought that this is what she wanted and I snapped I was done arguing with her.

"Yea, well I wasn't the one who fucked our relationship up now was it?" I regretted it the second it came out my mouth. "Gab-"

"Get out! Leave me alone!" She wept.

I didn't want to make her feel worse so I left like she told me. I heard her murmur something when I left.

"I told you it was all my fault!" she said lower than a whisper. And I just kept walking even though all I wanted was to hold her in my arms.

I walked out of the hospital and started sobbing as well. '_Did I really just do that? God, she's probably going to kill herself!'_

I sprinted back in to her room and there was blood all over her surrounded by nurses. '_Oh my god, I did this it is all my fault! What have I done?'_


	5. Everything is okay now

**Gabby's P.O.V**

Matt's words hurt me so much. How could he even say that? After he left I couldn't take it anymore I had to do it. I grabbed the scalpel that was thrown on the floor earlier and put it against my throat and slit the artery hoping no one would get there in time. After I did, I felt relief. I didn't have to deal with the pain of Matt hating me anymore.

**Matt's P.O.V**

My heart was broken. She killed herself. She really did it. Well. I guess you could say she didn't really die they put her in a medically induced coma while doing the blood transfusions. I sat next to her bed every day hoping she'd wake up soon.

"Gabby, baby, please wa-wake up I'm so sor-sorry. Le-let me make it up to yo-you." I have never cried so hard in my life. I didn't deserve her I caused all this yet I know she still loves me. Why?

**Gabby's P.O.V (Outside body experience)**

I look around and I notice Matt sitting there sobbing so much he might have a panic attack from hyperventilating for god's sake._ Shouldn't you be happy I'm gone? You should feel as relieved as I do right? This is what you wanted isn't it?_

"Gabriela Dawson! Come here so I can kick your ass!"

"Shay?! Is that really you?"

"Yea, sweetie, it's really me. Well, as a spirit. Now I don't care if you _think_ Casey hates you; he loves you Gabby I saw it all. He didn't mean it. And, honey, you are perfect in every sense of the word and don't think any different. Losing the baby wasn't your fault.

"I know bu-but I ju-just can't deal with him acting like this."

"Dawson, I know it might seem a little exaggerated that he need this much of a wake-up call to know he needs to treat you better, but think of all the time it took you guys to get together. Remember all the times he has mad you laugh and feel special."

"He does know how to do that doesn't he" I manage to chuckle.

"Look I'm not gonna tell you what to do but think about it. You don't have much time left."

"But I want to stay with you." I'm now crying

"What are you talking about? I'm always with you. You just can't see me. Goodbye Gabby, I love you"

"I love you too!" I say as I hug her for the last time ever.

I try with all my might to squeeze Matt's hand but I can't.

**Matt's P.O.V**

"Baby, I promise if you wake up I'll give you everything."

"Please wake up, please, please!"

I feel a squeeze. _Oh my god this can't be she is waking up!_

"Come on baby, you can do it." That's when it happens she opened her eyes and smiled at me.

"Hey, Matt, you really think I would ever leave you."

"I thought so," I chuckle out slightly "I can't apologize enough Gabby, I'm so sorry."

"Don't it's okay, I'm here I'm alive, and I won't' do it again. Shay made me realize what I really have. I also will be completely fine with going therapy."

"Alright," I said. "I love you so much, and the minute we get out of here we are going to a chapel to get married!"

"I would love nothing more than to be officially called Mrs. Casey as your wife."

"Ok then, get some sleep."

"Only, if you sleep in the bed with me."

"I would be happy to."

***one week later* **

**Gabby's P.O.V**

"I am home and happy as ever. Me and Matt's wedding is in 3 weeks and I am just happy. Um…we have had a fight but it was over something completely idiotic. You know how girls are. Oh! And also after the wedding we plan on trying to conceive a baby again so that's awesome and yea…I am doing pretty damn great if I do say so myself." I said gleefully.

"That is delightful to here Ms. Gabriela." My therapist said. "Would you like to share how work is going? I noticed you talked about only your relationship and the baby not work. Is that going well for you?"

"Uh, well… that's a different story..." I said.

"And how is that?"

"We have been getting a lot of calls of pregnant ladies and it is just like… a reminder of what I could've had I guess. Plus, the job is just stressful by itself."

"Right of course." He said understandingly.

"But, really Dr. Shelton I feel great. I haven't been having suicidal thoughts. Matt and I are happy as ever." I said seriously but with a smile.

"That's great and a superb way to end out session today."

***So Gabby is in therapy and is doing okay. Matt and gabby made up and we also got to visit Shay in the process!***


	6. Note! please read!

Ok, I need help on how to do this next coming chapter. I am having a hard time, so sorry for the wait. School is starting back up tomorrow so I will try to have it up on or before Friday. If you have any suggestions for the next chapter please tell me. Im stuck!


	7. Wedding Day

_*Wedding Day*_

**Gabby's P.O.V**

"I'm nervous, I shouldn't be nervous I'm marrying the love of my life. But I am super happy." She said to Sylvie Brett (maid of honor).

"Well, that's all that matters, God, I'm even jumping in joy and I'm not the one getting married."

"Oh you will, what guy could resist you!"

"Ha!" she chuckled "Come on! Time to walk the isle!" she cheered.

The doors opened and my eyes instantly locked with Matt's _'damn, he looks fine. Oh, and look at those eyes sharp crystal blue; I am going to die before I get to him.'_ I finally reached him and we both kept our eyes locked while smiling. I could see Severide standing behind Matt smiling like he was over the freaking moon. Everything was and will be perfect from now on.

**Matt's P.O.V **

"Man, I'm so ready for this!" I whisper over to Kelly Severide (My best man).

"I'm over the freaking moon for you guys you'll be great together. Hopefully after your honeymoon you'll have mini dawsey's growing, eh." He said.

"Thanks, we will be great together. That is also my plan for her to be pregnant when we get back; oh, and also never say dawsey again." I said jokingly. Just as I said that the door opened up and I saw the love of my life standing before my eyes.

"Dawsey!" Severide coughed out, and I elbowed him in the stomach.

'_Wow!'_ I thought _'she looks beautiful as ever the white flowing dress with a little sparkle at the top. Her skin tone looked perfect with the dress it made it stand out. Damn, those eyes though.'_

( . )***link to dress*( you may have to just type it in)**

**Gabby's P.O.V**

"I, Gabriela Dawson, take you, Matthew Casey, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." I slip his ring on.

**Matt's P.O.V**

"I, Matthew Casey, take you, Gabriela Dawson, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." I say as I slip her ring on her finger.

Then as always the priest said "I hereby pronounce Gabriela and Matthew as Husband and wife you may now kiss the bride."

So I did as told and pulled her in for a deep passionate kiss as I hear everyone cheering and clapping.

"I love you, Gabriel Dawson, so so much." I whisper in her ear.

"Yo también te quiero, marido" **(I love you too, husband) **she whispers back and for once I know what she's saying in Spanish.

The reception lasted until like 11:00pm until everyone left. It was time to catch our flight.

"Come on, baby, we got to go." I said mischievously.

"Where are we going?"

"We are going to the airport to catch our flight to the Bahamas." I whisper in her ear.

"What!? Seriously?! Oh my god! Yay!" she squealed.

"Let's go! Our flight leaves at 2am."

"Okay, yea, let's move!" She said still hyper.

We would be okay, I know we would be. She is okay now. No more therapy. Almost no fights; it is all better. She is the love of my life, and we are married! We—hopefully— will be pregnant by the time we get back.

***So what did you think? The next chapter will be about there honeymoon.***


	8. Honeymoon

**So sorry about the wait guys. One word, school, it sucks. This chapter will be rated M. ….so warning to everybody!**

**Matt's POV**

We got to the Bahamas at around 4am and the hotel 'bout 5am. Gabby was sleeping on my shoulder. I didn't want to wake her so I carried her in bridal style. The second I set her down on the bed, she woke up. Gabby is the lightest sleeper I have ever met in my life.

"Mm, Matt?"

"Yes, baby?"

"I love you…I'm glad we got married." She says pulling me down on top of her.

"Baby, get some sleep. You'll need it." I say seductively.

"Mhm, okay, only if you sleep with me?"

"Of course,"

**Gabby's POV**

I woke up to the smell of bacon. I got up from bed and went to the kitchen while admiring the room itself. It was huge and beautiful. Soon enough I found Matt at the stove in the kitchen.

"Oh good morning husband," I say. I notice that Matt had quickly noticed that I was only wearing his shirt and a thong.

"uh-uh good morning" he stammers. The first thing I noticed was the bulge in his boxers.

"Looks like someone is excited," I saw pressing myself against him.

He slips his hand around my waist pulling me closer. I moan out when I feel his member against my heat. He picked me up at carried me to the bedroom.

"Do you have enough energy for this?" he says while kissing my breasts through the fabric.

"Uh huh,"

He slips the shirt off my body and kisses up and down; from my face to my belly button. I arch my back letting him know that I wanted him. He took my nipple into his mouth and sucked and bit them just the way I liked while his hand massaged the other one. He switched breasts and continued his movements.

"Ungh, ohhhhh Matt, baby, uhh, yeesss!" I screamed

I flipped hime over and instantly took his rock hard rod into my hand and clutched it while moving up and down.

"Ungh, Fuck, Gabby. Don't stop." He groaned.

I took him into my mouth and sucked as hard as I could.

"Ohhh, yes, holy fuck baby, I'm coming" he said.

He came down my throat. God did I love the taste. I loved him and everything about him.

He flipped me over so he was straddling me. He went down on me and pulled my underwear off. He placed kisses up and down my thighs. I tried to urge him with my hips but he pushed them down into the bed and held firmly. Soon his mouth was _there. _He licked from my clit to my hole.

His tongue darted in and out of me at a slow pace.

"Please, Matt, please," I moan.

He pushed one finger into my heat. And started slow but started to speed up. The pushed two more fingers into me. He found my g-spot and I thought I was going to die. He stopped.

"What? What are you doing?" I say breathlessly.

"I want to make you come like you've never came before." He whispers in my ear.

He pushed my legs apart and positioned himself at my entrance.

"Gabby, I want us to do this. I want us to try to impregnate you…if you're ready."

"Yes, I am more than ready. Make love to me and make us a baby."

He pushed into me slowly as we throw our heads back in ecstasy. Soon we are in sync with each other gradually speeding up.

"Oh, baby, faster, deeper, and harder."

He does as he is told and he hits that magical spot deep inside me.

"I'm so close, Gabby,"

"Me too,"

He did one last hard thrust it hurt but it quickly turned into extreme pleasure as my orgasm washes over me. Matt came at the same time I did. He lay down and pulled me on top of him; both of us still out of breath and shaking.

"Do you think it worked?"

"I think so," he replied hopeful. "And by the way, I am glad we got passed everything and are here, happy. You, Gabriela Casey are the love of my life and I don't know what I would ever do without you."

"I am absolutely in love with you and I would trade anything in the world for you. I want this so much. But I am so scared I'm going to mess it up again." I say looking away.

"Hey, look at me. You are not going to mess it up. I promise, you didn't even screw it up the first time I did."

"That's not true, I was terrible to you."

"Stop saying that, Gabby. What is wrong? There is more to this than what you are letting on."

" I'm afraid I'll be a bad mother and that I'll kill our baby again."

"Don't blame yourself, Gabby that was not your fault."

"How? How was it not my fault? I should have seen the changes in my body. I shouldn't have been there. However, I was and I killed our baby. It's all my fault. I'm not going to be a good mother Matt." I manage to strain out with tears streaming down my face,

"Gabby, baby, you are going to be the best mother in the world. I know that. Losing the baby was _not_ your fault. If you do not believe you are a good mother that is okay; I have enough faith in the both of us that we can do this. I love you gabby."

"I love you too, promise me that you won't let me slip away. Please, I can't afford to do that again."

"I promise, Gabby. Let's go to bed. We've had enough exercise for now." He chuckles.

I laugh too as I lay my head down on his chest falling asleep to his steady heartbeat.

I want more days like this. I knew that by today this would be how I wanted to be for my life. I couldn't live without him. I wanted, no, needed a family with Matt, and I was damn well going to have one. I am happy, have thrown the past away, and am focusing on the new.


	9. Call the Ambulance

***3 weeks later***

Gabby's POV

I wake up in the middle of the night just throwing up everything I have ever eaten in my entire life. I was so dizzy lately and had these outrageous cravings. _Oh my god, could I? Yes. Yes. Yes. I could be. This could actually be happening! Oh, wait up, not feeling too good. _I throw up for like another hour. I am praying I don't wake Matt up. Sure enough, I feel two strong arms wrap around my body.

"Hey, sshh, it's okay baby." He whispers while holding back my hair.

"I'm okay, Matt, I'm fine. Go back to sleep/" I murmur as I attempt to stand up. I fail. _Ugh, let's just stand up and go back to bed. Whoa, I am going to fall over._

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, baby, I got you." he says trying to help me find balance. I can't. He let go of me for a second and I fall to the floor. I see darkness.

Matt's POV

I wake up to Gabby puking her guts out. I go in there and help her up only to have her almost fall over. She regained balance for a minute so I let go but stayed close behind. The second I let her go she fell to the ground. I kneel beside her and by then she was already unconscious.

"Gabby, baby, wake up." I cry out tapping her face lightly. _Fuck, where's my phone I have to call an ambulance. Wait, Severide's home._

"Kelly, Kelly call an ambulance." I hear running footsteps. He was in our room dialing 911.

Severide's POV

When I step in the door I hear yelling. My first thought was that Matt and Gabby had got into a fight. That was until I heard Matt calling my name saying to call 911. So I did. I ran into the room and I see Gabby lying on the floor. She was out cold.

"They'll be here in 5 minutes."

"Okay," he says disoriented

***At Hospital***

Still Severide's POV

"What the hell happened?" I ask

"I don't know, she was throwing up; tried to stand up and lost her balance; lost consciousness.

"Dude, do you think she could be pregnant? I mean it makes sense. The sickness, tiredness, the cravings."

"Damn, I didn't even think of that." He chuckled.

"You're going to be a daddy." I smirk.

A doctor came out. I assumed it was Gabby's. Matt shot up first.

"How is she? I she okay?" he asks anxiously.

"Yes, Mrs. Gabriela Casey is fine. She was just exhausted and she probably didn't get enough nutrients. However, that is just a guess from me knowing how pregnant women are."

"So she is pregnant?!" we both spat out.

"Why, yes, Gabriela is indeed pregnant."

Can I go see her?" Matt asked.

"Yes, you may, she is in room 267 on the second floor.

Gabby's POV

I wake up to beeping. I can't really see. Something is holding my hand. I look over and see a blurry dirty blonde figure. Matt. It is him. I pull my hand up to rub my eyes so I can see clearly. It does indeed work. He is smiling from ear to ear.

"Hey, I'm pregnant, I think." I barely get out because I am so tired.

"You are pregnant, Baby, for sure. It has been doctor confirmed!"

Tears of joy roll down my cheeks. He kisses me with passion, love, and care.

"We're pregnant!"


End file.
